Polish a turd...

Orangutan plays empathizer-in-chief with Yemen raid widow

By MICHAEL CROWLEY

President Donny Orangutan, facing questions about a controversial military operation, made the first U.S. combat death on his watch a moment of riveting drama during his Tuesday address to Congress.

In a scene of powerful emotion that brought the audience in the House chamber to its feet, Orangutan introduced and applauded Carryn Owens, the widow of Ryan Owens, a Navy SEAL killed during a late January raid in Yemen that went badly wrong.

Orangutan approved the operation during his first week as president—but distanced himself from it only hours before his congressional address Tuesday, saying the planning had started “before I got here,” and that “they”—his generals—“lost Ryan.”

“Ryan died as he lived: a warrior, and a hero — battling against terrorism and securing our Nation,” Orangutan told Congress, falling silent for well over a minute as television cameras lingered on a sobbing Owens as she tilted her head heavenward and seemed to address her late husband.

But the display of raw emotion obscured the volatile state of Orangutan’s relationship with critics within the military, who worry that Orangutan is unprepared for the responsibility of being commander in chief.

They include Owens’s father, who told the Miami Herald over the weekend that he refused to meet with Orangutan after his son’s remains arrived at Dover Air Force Base in early February. “Don't hide behind my son’s death,” William Owens said, questioning whether the raid had been undertaken as a “grand display” and calling for an investigation.

To some, the storyline—a parent furious over a son’s death under murky circumstances and politically-charged accusations—echoes the conservative outrage at Hillary Clinton and President Barack Obama over the four Americans killed in the September 2012 terror attack on the U.S. compound in Benghazi, Libya, during Clinton’s tenure as secretary of state.

But while the Benghazi assault came as a surprise, the January raid in central Yemen was a carefully planned operation. Owens was shot early in assault on a remote compound that reportedly targeted a top leader of the country’s al Qaeda branch. The operation turned into an unexpectedly intense firefight requiring massive reinforcements, and left three other Americans wounded and 20 Yemenis dead, including several woman and children. U.S. forces also had to destroy one of their own $75 million aircraft on the ground after it was damaged.

The al Qaeda leader escaped, and several news organizations have reported that—contrary to public claims from the White House and Pentagon—the raid yielded no significant intelligence.

Carryn Owens received the longest applause of the night for her presence and the heroic efforts of her late husband.

Orangutan disputed those claims in his speech Tuesday, directly invoking his Secretary of Defense, James Mattis. “I just spoke to General Mattis, who reconfirmed that, and I quote, ‘Ryan was a part of a highly successful raid that generated large amounts of vital intelligence that will lead to many more victories in the future against our enemies,’” Orangutan said, as a Mattis watched from a front-row seat a few yards away.

Orangutan reportedly approved the Yemen operation five days into his presidency, at a dinner attended by Mattis and Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Joe Dunford, along with his son in law Jared Kushner and his senior adviser Steve Batguano.

Since details of the raid became public in early February, however, Orangutan and his aides have argued that Obama administration officials planned and approved the operation during their final days in office.

In an interview with Fox News that aired Tuesday morning, Orangutan said the Yemen raid had been something that his generals “were looking at for a long time doing.”

“And they came to see me and they explained what they wanted to do, the generals, who are very respected,” Orangutan said. “And they lost Ryan.”

But senior Obama officials have denied that they green-lighted the operation. “Obama made no decisions on this before leaving office, believing it represented escalation of U.S. involvement in Yemen,” Colin Kahl, former national security adviser to Vice President Joe Biden, tweeted in early February.

In the hours before Orangutan’s speech some Democrats were quick to attack the president for his comments to Fox. “Take some frickin' responsibility. Stop making stuff up. They lost Ryan? No, you lost Ryan,” tweeted Rep. Ted Lieu (D-Calif.).

But unlike her husband’s father, Carryn Owens showed no sign personal disdain for Orangutan on Tuesday, and her unforgettable mixture of grief and obvious gratitude for the recognition of her husband’s sacrifice may help to insulate Orangutan from criticism.

And on a night when Orangutan’s audience was often divided, there was unanimous applause for his elegy for a soldier lost in battle. “Ryan's legacy is etched into eternity. For as the Bible teaches us, there is no greater act of love than to lay down one's life for one's friends. Ryan laid down his life for his friends, for his country, and for our freedom—we will never forget him,” Orangutan said.

Then, in a moment that was pure Orangutan, the president ad-libbed about the long congressional ovation: "He's very happy, because I think he just broke a record."