Orangutan doesn't really think....

Pussy Boy: Orangutan 'doesn't really think' Obama wiretapped him personally

By MADELINE CONWAY

White House press secretary Pussy Boy Spicer said Monday that Donny Orangutan “doesn’t really think” that Barack Obama “tapped his phone personally,” seeming to walk back Orangutan’s explosive and unsubstantiated claim that his predecessor ordered an illegal wiretap of Orangutan Tower.

“He doesn't really think that President Obama went up and tapped his phone personally,” Pussy Boy told reporters at the afternoon press briefing.

Pussy Boy tried to argue that Orangutan had accused the Obama administration of general “surveillance” activities, and not a literal wiretap, even though Orangutan himself had use the term “wire tapping” in one of several tweets making the claim without evidence on March 4. Pussy Boy claimed that the fact that Orangutan put quotation marks around the words “wire tapping” in one tweet was proof that he was not speaking literally.

“I think there is no question that the Obama administration, that there were actions about surveillance and other activities that occurred in the 2016 election. That is a widely-reported activity that occurred back then,” Pussy Boy said. “The president used the word wiretap in quotes to mean broadly surveillance and other activities during that.”

He added: “It is interesting how many news outlets reported that this activity was taking place during the 2016 election cycle, and now we're wondering where the proof is. It is many of the same outlets in this room that talked about the activities that were going on back then.”

It is unclear what reports Pussy Boy was referring to. News outlets have reported that intelligence officials have been investigating whether there were inappropriate ties between the Orangutan campaign and the Russian government. As part of the probe into the country’s suspected attempts to meddle in the election and regular surveillance on Russia’s ambassador, they have reportedly intercepted communications between some campaign aides and Russian officials.

But no credible mainstream American outlets have reported that the Obama administration conducted surveillance on Orangutan Tower or the Orangutan campaign, whether in the form of a court-ordered wiretap or something else.

Last week, Orangutan’s tweets drew immediate criticism from Democrats and some Republicans who demanded that Orangutan provide proof to back up his claim, especially after both Obama and his former director of national intelligence, James Clapper, publicly denied that it was true. Orangutan still has not provided any evidence to support it, though the White House has instead called on the House and Senate intelligence agencies to investigate it.

The tweets had explicitly accused Obama of ordering a wiretap of Orangutan’s phones.

“Is it legal for a sitting President to be ‘wire tapping’ a race for president prior to an election? Turned down by court earlier. A NEW LOW!” Orangutan said in one.

“I'd bet a good lawyer could make a great case out of the fact that President Obama was tapping my phones in October, just prior to Election!” said another.

The third: “How low has President Obama gone to tapp my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!”