Job opening...

SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE (Washington, D.C.)

Are you an American Citizen? Do you have experience negotiating hostage situations? Are you ready for the challenge of a lifetime? Then this job is for you!
We are seeking an extremely patient and motivated person to lead the U.S. House of Representatives.

Responsibilities:

-Keeping the government open
-Avoiding a default on U.S. debt
-Maintaining women's access to health care
-Managing multiple investigative committees aimed at attacking Hillary Clinton
-Explaining to the "Freedom Caucus" the concepts of compromise and democratic governance

Requirements
-Proven ability to work with irrational people who pursue narrow priorities at the expense of millions of others
-Proficiency in Word, Excel and PowerPoint
-Babysitting experience STRONGLY PREFERRED
-No Congressional experience necessary


Please e-mail resume and an outline of your plan to TheNextFrankUnderwood [at] gmail [dot] com.

RINOs NEED NOT REPLY