Oh fuck them.............

The Onion’s Bid to Buy Infowars Is Rejected in Court

In a victory for Alex Jones, a bankruptcy judge rules that “the process fell down.”

Anna Merlan 

After a grueling hearing that stretched over two days, a federal bankruptcy judge declined to approve the sale of Infowars to Global Tetrahedron, LLC, the Onion’s parent company late on Tuesday.

Last month, Infowars was sold at bankruptcy auction to the company; Onion CEO Ben Collins said they planned to relaunch the conspiracist site as a parody of itself. Instead, the ruling by Christopher Lopez, a bankruptcy judge in Texas’ Southern District, means the auction will be overturned and no new auction will be held. The judge ordered the US trustee who oversaw the bankruptcy process and auction to report back to the court in 30 days with a new plan to bring the case to a close.

The result was precisely what conspiracy mega-peddler and Infowars’ founder Alex Jones hoped for, and is yet another roadblock to closure for the Sandy Hook families who were defamed by Jones after the murders of their children.  

Despite a good faith effort by the trustee to maximize profits for the Sandy Hook families, who are Jones’ biggest creditors, in making his ruling Lopez held that “the process fell down.”

After losing his high profile defamation suits by default, Jones owes roughly $1.4 billion to groups of both Connecticut and Texas plaintiffs. The Connecticut Sandy Hook plaintiffs had supported Global Tetrahedron’s bid, saying they would waive some of the money owed to them. The offer made by Global Tetrahedron included $1.75 million in cash and “a distributable proceeds waiver” agreeing to forego some portion of what is owed to the Connecticut families. While that cash offer was substantially lower than the roughly $3.5 million put forward by the only other bidder, First United American Companies, both Global Tetrahedron and the trustee argued that the company’s offer was ultimately more valuable because of the waiver.

But Jones and Infowars immediately contested the November sale, saying the auction’s rules hadn’t been fair or transparent and accusing Christopher Murray, the bankruptcy trustee who oversaw the auction, of colluding with the Sandy Hook families and their attorneys. In late November, Jones sued both the Global Tetrahedron and the Connecticut plaintiffs, accusing them of mounting a “zombie” bid for the company. Jones has also insisted on Infowars that former New York mayor and billionaire Michael Bloomberg was the real person attempting to buy the company. Like many things Jones says, this is a few blocks down from reality: Everytown for Gun Safety has said they plan to be the exclusive advertiser on the satirized version of the site. Bloomberg is Everytown’s main funder.

At the start of the two-day hearing, Joshua Wolfshohl, an attorney for Murray, called for the sale to Global Tetrahedron to be approved, arguing that Infowars’ objections to were “fantastic and imaginative conspiracy theories that have no basis in reality.”

Meanwhile, Ben Broocks, a lawyer for Jones, argued Global Tetrahedron’s bid had been less than the one offered by First United American Companies, whose principal is Charles Cicack. (The New York Times reported last year that Cicack has previously “sold products through Free Speech Systems,” the Jones company that owns Infowars. Jones has made clear on-air that Cicack is an ally, and that his bid was backed by what Jones called “the good guys.”) Broocks called Global Tetrahedron’s offer “smoke and mirrors” and “voodoo economics,” and alleged that “a lot of bad stuff” had taken place during the sale, including improper collusion between Murray and the Connecticut plaintiffs.  

“They have made it crystal clear they intended to not just destroy Alex Jones,” he declared, “but put him in his grave and make sure he would never work again.” 

But an attorney for Global Tetrahedron said the auction had not only been fair, but that the company had suffered “significant additional costs” while waiting for the sale to be approved. Murray himself said that the bid process had been competitive, and that in weighing the bids and factoring “all those different scenarios and permutations, one was better than the other,” referring to Global Tetrahedron’s offer. “Nobody complained until after they lost,” he told a lawyer for First United.

The auctioneer who oversaw the sale, Jeff Tanenbaum, agreed, testifying that the auction had been fair and the outcome had been appropriate, because Global Tetrahedron’s bid offered the best net value for the creditors. 

In a court filing several weeks ago, attorneys for the Connecticut families had also asked the judge to honor the results of the auction. “Unfortunately, it is clear from the pleadings that Jones will do almost anything to avoid giving up control of” Free Speech Systems, they wrote, “including arguing, belatedly, that the Trustee cannot control FSS and making baseless assertions of collusion and other illegitimate actions.”  

Earlier in the case, lawyers for Elon Musk’s company X made an appearance, ostensibly to argue against the sale of Jones’ Twitter accounts as part of the auction. But Jones has made no secret that he hoped X’s entry meant that Musk planned to buy Infowars, an idea he’s repeatedly promoted on air in recent weeks, praising Musk as a brave truth warrior. But on Monday, Caroline Latham, an attorney representing X, told Judge Lopez that the company had “resolved the limited objection that X corp filed.” She was then excused from the hearing, taking Jones’ hopes for a Musk-backed rescue.

As the court hearing unfolded, Jones said on Infowars Monday that the trustee had been “coming through” the company’s office every week to make sure none of the assets at issue had disappeared. “That’s how close tyranny is to us,” he declared. “Breathing down our necks.” And on Tuesday evening, Jones began anchoring what he declared, as he has before, could be Infowars’ last broadcast. He reassured his audience that if he was shut down, he’d immediately pick up at his new “Alex Jones Network”—which, for now, broadcasts a mirror of Infowars. But when news of his court victory arrived, he seemed to greet it with a mixture of surprise and elation. “Finally, a judge followed the law,” he declared, before threatening to bring criminal charges against people involved in trying to buy Infowars, and claiming that “the enemy,” having failed to purchase his company, would likely try to assassinate him. “You’re Captain Ahab,” he proclaimed at one point, addressing his many enemies. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m the white whale.” 

On Tuesday night, Global Tetrahedron’ CEO Ben Collins told Mother Jones that they are “deeply disappointed” in the decision, adding, “The Onion will continue to seek a resolution that helps the Sandy Hook families receive a positive outcome for the horror they endured.” Collins also said they’ll continue to seek a path to purchase Infowars, adding, “It is part of our larger mission to make a better, funnier internet, regardless of the outcome of this case.”

Collins added said that the company “appreciate[s] that the court repeatedly recognized The Onion acted in good faith, but are disappointed that everyone was sent back to the drawing board with no winner, and no clear path forward for any bidder.”

He added, “And for all of those as upset about this as we are, please know we will continue to seek moments of hope. We are undeterred in our mission to make a funnier world.”