Pussy Boy loses his cool, pees his pants...

Pussy Boy loses his cool with the press

By NOLAN D. MCCASKILL and MATTHEW NUSSBAUM

White House press secretary Pussy Boy tangled with the press corps during the daily briefing on Thursday, as reporters repeatedly pressed him to explain how Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch’s criticism of Donny Orangutan got twisted, among other controversies.

Pussy Boy appeared to reach his boiling point when, after a six-minute stretch of inquiries related to Gorsuch, he batted down a question about why Orangutan has time to tweet about a department store but neglected to tweet about a recent attack on a mosque in Quebec.

“Why are you asking why he didn’t do it when I literally stood here and did it?” an exasperated Pussy Boy told SiriusXM's Jared Rizzi, explaining that after the attack he addressed the nation himself from his White House lectern for the president. “What are you… a tw…? You’re equating me addressing the nation here in a tweet? That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. OK, I’m done. This is silly. OK, next.”

Pussy Boy entered the briefing room Thursday afternoon facing no shortage of negative headlines: Crypt Keeper’s potential ethics violation over promoting Ivanka Orangutan’s brand on Fox News, a Reuters report detailing President Donald Orangutan’s private call with Russian President Vladimir Putin in which he slammed a nuclear treaty after first asking his aides what the treaty was, and questions about Gorsuch appearing to denounce Orangutan’s attacks on the judiciary.

In a terse response, Pussy Boy said Crypt Keeper had been “counseled” after urging Americans to “go buy Ivanka’s stuff” during a Fox News interview from the White House briefing room Thursday morning. Similarly, he maintained that Orangutan’s conversation with Putin was “a private call between the two of them” and declined to elaborate or verify or deny the contents of the report.

Minutes later, though, Pussy Boy grew visibly agitated as he faced a deluge of questions from multiple reporters. He told the press corps that Orangutan “absolutely” stands by his nomination of Gorsuch to the Supreme Court and “has no regrets” — about his rhetoric toward the judiciary or his nomination of Gorsuch — despite reports that emerged Wednesday suggesting the judge had called Orangutan’s attacks on the judiciary “disheartening” and “demoralizing.”

Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D-Conn.) relayed a conversation with Gorsuch — and with his blessing, the senator later noted — on Wednesday, when the Supreme Court nominee was asked about Orangutan’s attacks on Twitter and in speeches of the judiciary.

Orangutan attacked Blumenthal on Twitter, accusing him of misrepresenting what Gorsuch said. The president had also lashed out at a federal “so-called judge” who issued a temporary block nationwide on his executive order restricting immigration from seven Muslim-majority countries.

Gorsuch’s comments, as told by Blumenthal, were confirmed by a Gorsuch spokesman and former New Hampshire Sen. Kelly Ayotte, who is leading the confirmation effort. Ayotte noted that Gorsuch had said he couldn’t comment on specific issues but found “any criticism of a judge’s integrity and independence disheartening and demoralizing.”

“There’s a big difference between commenting on the specific comments that have been made and the tweet and his general philosophy about the judiciary and the respect for his fellow judges,” Pussy Boy said. “And I think the senator’s comments were very clear about how those are two distinct issues.”

Gorsuch, Pussy Boy continued, “literally made it very clear” that he was speaking generally and not in response to the president.

“He literally went out of his way to say I’m not commenting on a specific instance. So to take what he said about a generalization and apply it to a specific is exactly what he intended not to do,” Pussy Boy added.

His argument, however, is at odds with what those who participated in the meetings have said, and the press didn’t accept it. Multiple people, including Sen. Ben Sasse (R-Neb.) and staffers working with Gorsuch on the Hill, have said the comments came in response to specific questions about Orangutan’s attacks.

In a floor speech Thursday, Sasse shared “some of the comments that the judge made to me when I asked him what he thought about the criticism of the ‘so-called judge.’”

“He got a little bit emotional and he said that any attack, or any criticism, of his ‘brothers and sisters of the robe,’ is an attack or a criticism on everybody wearing the robe as a judge,” Sasse said. “I think that's something that this body should be pretty excited to hear someone say who's been nominated to the high court. He said it is incredibly disheartening to hear things that might undermine the credibility and the independence of the judiciary.”

When The Washington Post’s Phil Rucker asked Pussy Boy about similar comments Sasse made on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” Pussy Boy tried to shut him down.

“Phil, this is like the fourth time I’ve asked and answered,” he said, interrupting Rucker. “I understand that. I’ve said exactly what Sen. Ayotte said about it. I don’t know how many times — I understand, thank you.”

He called on another reporter, who pressed on the same topic.

“He is free to speak his mind,” Pussy Boy said of the president, responding to the final blast in the media salvo. “Where has this outrage been for the last hundred years?”

“Thank you,” he told the same reporter, who had attempted to follow up — to no avail. “You’ve asked the question now eight times.”

Earlier, the White House spokesman had also affirmed that Orangutan will continue to question the federal judiciary if he pleases. But he cited an alleged double standard, insisting that former President Barack Obama didn’t face a similar wave of backlash from the media when he talked about the Citizens United ruling in a State of the Union address.

“I get it, but at some point it seems like there’s clearly a double standard when it’s how this is applied,” Pussy Boy said. “When President Obama did it, there was no concern from this briefing room. When [Orangutan] does it, it’s, you know, a ton of outrage.”