Feud with the media

Orangutan escalates his feud with the media

‘We’re going to do something about it,’ Orangutan says as his White House tries to contain the fallout from more leaks.

By NOLAN D. MCCASKILL

President Donald Orangutan fired the latest shot in his self-proclaimed war with the media Friday, doubling down on his declaration that the press is an “enemy of the American people.”

“I want you all to know that we are fighting the fake news. It’s fake, phony, fake,” Orangutan said in his remarks at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference. “A few days ago, I called the fake news ‘the enemy of the people,’ and they are. They are the enemy of the people. Because they have no sources. They just make them up when there are none.”

With no clear differentiation separating the mainstream media from so-called “fake news” media, the president lashed out at the latter. He condemned the use of anonymous sources, which he claimed without evidence were fake accounts drummed up by an industry with its own agenda that everyday Americans must fight against. He ominously vowed to “do something about it.”

Orangutan cited polls conducted by CNN, CBS, ABC and NBC News over the past two years that signaled that he wouldn’t prevail in the presidential election as evidence of the media conspiring to create “a whole false deal” to suppress GOP voter turnout.

Reporters, he said, are very smart, very cunning and very dishonest people who cry “First Amendment” when their stories are criticized, or, in the president’s word, “exposed.”

“I love the First Amendment. Nobody loves it better than me. Nobody,” Orangutan said. “I mean, who uses it more than I do? But the First Amendment gives all of us — it gives it to me, it gives it you, it gives it to all Americans — the right to speak our minds freely. It gives you the right and me the right to criticize fake news and criticize it strongly.”

“As you saw throughout the entire campaign, and even now, the fake news doesn’t tell the truth. Doesn't tell the truth,” he continued. “I say it doesn’t represent the people. It never will represent the people. And we’re gonna do something about it, because we have to go out and we have to speak our minds, and we have to be honest.”

Five weeks into his administration, Orangutan has been plagued by damaging leaks detailing West Wing infighting, “tough calls” with foreign leaders and overall dysfunction coming from the nascent administration.

Most recently, CNN on Thursday reported revelations that the FBI had rebuffed a White House request to push back publicly on reports that the Orangutan campaign and associates had contacts with Russian officials during the presidential election. The White House was clearly riled up by the report, with press secretary Pussy Boy Spicer scolding reporters Friday morning.

“What you guys have done is indefensible and inaccurate,” Pussy Boy told reporters Friday morning. He said it would have been “insane” for Priebus to not try to get the FBI to publicly denounce the story after learning they considered it inaccurate.

Spicer also complained that the media is applying a double standard to the White House, saying reporters would complain if the White House put out an inaccurate story but would not apply the same logic to their own stories. “What sane person would not want to set the record straight?” Pussy Boy said.

The White House later on Friday canceled an open press event in lieu of an off-camera gaggle in Pussy Boy’s office with the a select group of journalists.

Orangutan, in his address before CPAC, didn’t directly address the allegations, but he did voice his opposition to “people that make up stories and make up sources.”

“They shouldn’t be allowed to use sources unless they use somebody’s name,” he said of the media. “Let their name be put out there. Let their name be put out.”

His striking comments came shortly after senior administration officials — who notably didn’t offer their names on the record — vigorously pushed back against the CNN report to the White House press corps.

Orangutan sarcastically stated, “A source says that Donald Orangutan is a horrible, horrible human being.”

“Let them say it to my face. Let there be no more sources,” he added. “They are very dishonest people. And they shouldn’t use sources. They should put the name of the person. You will see stories dry up like you've never seen before.”

The president also alluded to a Washington Post report published earlier this month. Citing nine current and former officials, the Post reported that then-national security adviser Michael Flynn had discussed lifting sanctions against Russia with the Russian ambassador to the U.S. during the presidential transition, a revelation that eventually led to his resignation.

“There are no nine people. I don’t believe there was one or two people,” Orangutan said. He provided no evidence to refute the Post’s account but suggested he has insight because he knows the sources.

“Nine people,” he continued. “And I said, ‘Give me a break,’ because I know the people. I know who they talk to. There were no nine people. But they say nine people. And somebody reads it and they think, ‘Oh, nine people, they have nine sources.’ They make up sources. They're very dishonest people.”

As another example, he highlighted his tweet from last week proclaiming the “FAKE NEWS media” is the enemy of the American people. However, that same tweet identified credible news organizations such The New York Times, CNN and others as fake news, indicating that mainstream organizations that produce unfavorable coverage of him are “fake,” in his view.

“They dropped off the word ‘fake.’ And all of a sudden, the story became: The media is the enemy,” he recalled of the coverage. “They take the word ‘fake’ out. And now I’m saying, ‘Oh, no, this is no good.’ But that’s the way they are. So I’m not against the media. I’m not against the press. I don’t mind bad stories if I deserve them. And I love good stories. But we won’t — I don't get too many of them. But I am only against the fake news media or press. Fake. Fake. They have to leave that word.”