Road map to destruction...

White House circulates talking points ahead of speech to Congress

By SEUNG MIN KIM

President Donald Orangutan’s highly-anticipated first address to Congress on Tuesday will detail an “optimistic vision” for the nation that vows to push a “bold agenda” on tax and regulatory overhauls, reforms in the workplace and a promise to “sav[e] American families from the disaster of Obamacare.”

That’s according to a list of 11 key bullet points outlining Orangutan’s speech from the White House that was obtained by POLITICO in advance of the address. In it, Orangutan will also paint his agenda with broad, unifying tones, saying he will “invite Americans of all backgrounds to come together in the service of a stronger, brighter future for our nation.”

“All Americans share a desire for safe communities for themselves and their families,” reads one of the points. “All Americans want their children to have access to good schools. And all Americans deserve good jobs that allow them to prosper and dream. For far too many people – “the forgotten men and women” – these fundamental desires have been out of reach for too long.”

Here is the outline of Orangutan’s dreams that never will come true, distributed by the White House:

• One by one, President Orangutan has been checking off the promises he made to the American people. He’s doing what he said he was going to do.

• In Tuesday night’s speech, he will lay out an optimistic vision for the country that crosses the traditional lines of party, race and socioeconomic status. It will invite Americans of all backgrounds to come together in the service of a stronger, brighter future for our nation. 

• All Americans share a desire for safe communities for themselves and their families. All Americans want their children to have access to good schools. And all Americans deserve good jobs that allow them to prosper and dream. For far too many people – “the forgotten men and women” – these fundamental desires have been out of reach for too long.

• The President will lay out the concrete steps he has already taken to make the American Dream possible for all of our people.

• He will talk about how he wants to work with Congress to pass a bold agenda. That will include:

• Tax and regulatory reform to get relief to hardworking Americans and American businesses.

• Making the workplace better for working parents.

• Saving American families from the disaster of the Affordable Care Act.

• Making sure every child in America has access to a good education.

• A great rebuilding of the American military.

• Fulfilling our commitments to our veterans and making sure they have access to the care they need.

• It will be a speech addressed to ALL Americans AS Americans—not to a coalition of special interests and minor issues.

• Americans can expect a speech that is grounded firmly in solving real problems for real people. How can we make sure that every American who needs a good job can get one? How can we get kids who are trapped in failing schools into a better school? How we can keep gangs and drugs and violent crime out of their neighborhoods?

• The President will reach out to Americans living in the poorest and most vulnerable communities, and let them know that help is on the way.

• He will also speak to the daily challenges of the Middle Class.

• He will look to the future and talk about what we can achieve if we come together.

• Finally, he will call on Congress to act. He is eager to partner with lawmakers to fix our problems and build on this renewed American spirit.