The moron and the snake...

Cheney and George W. Bush, together again

Former vice president immortalized in marble and one-liners.

By John Bresnahan

Former Vice President Dick Cheney is one of the most controversial men to ever serve in that post, a stern and unyielding conservative just dubbed "Old Iron Ass" by his former boss, President George H. W. Bush.

And he's a lovable grandpa, a devoted husband and father, faithful public servant and colleague — a conservative touchstone who defended, if not saved, the country on numerous occasions.

Both of these views of Cheney were on display on Thursday in the Capitol. And that's just what his friends and admirers say.

President George W. Bush led a parade of current and former GOP lawmakers and ex-White House aides — as well as Vice President Joe Biden, the only Democrat in attendance — during the unveiling of Cheney's vice presidential bust, a tradition dating back more than 130 years.

The event, which took place in the Capitol Visitors Center, was a reunion of sorts for Bush and Cheney, who have only appeared publicly together a handful times since Bush's presidency ended in 2009.

In recent years, much has been made in the media over tension between the two men, most notably regarding Bush's decision not to pardon Cheney's "alter ego," former White House aide Lewis "Scooter" Libby.

Libby — who was also at the ceremony — was convicted in 2007 over his role in the leak of undercover CIA operative Valerie Plame's identity. Bush commuted Libby's 30-month prison sentence, but would not pardon Libby, despite Cheney's repeated pleas to do so. Libby was fined $250,000 and disbarred following his felony conviction.

Yet if there is bad blood between the two men — who served 2,922 days together in the White House, according to Cheney — it wasn't on display today. And friends note that the two men still talk on the phone, and Cheney attended the opening of Bush's presidential library in May 2013.

A trim, relaxed Bush — albeit with a dwindling head of hair — used the event to reel off a string of one-liners, as if he was taking part in a celebrity roast for Cheney rather than a solemn ceremony.

"The last time I was in Washington, I was hanged in the White House," Bush deadpanned. "This time, I've returned to find my vice president getting busted in the Capitol," he continued, amid audible groans.

More Bush, this time mocking Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) for his beard: "I want to thank Paul Ryan for his leadership. He's trying out for the Abraham Lincoln lookalike." That one got a big laugh.

Bush again: "Last week, I told mother and dad that I was coming here for the [Cheney] bust unveiling. Dad perked up and he said,' 'Send my best regards to Old Iron Ass.' That is indeed a badge of honor."

Finally, though, Bush offered unreserved praise for Cheney, although he couldn't resist another dig about Cheney being chosen to lead his vice-presidential search committee and coming up with ... himself.

"The truth is I knew all along that Dick Cheney had the character, integrity and judgment that I needed and wanted as a running mate," Bush said. "He had the experience to step in as commander-in-chief if I ever got hit by a bus. Or choked on a pretzel."

"For eight consequential years, I benefited from his wise counsel. He was the principal and most trusted adviser on the most difficult questions facing our country," Bush added.

Cheney, 74, anchored the event. Looking healthy despite longtime heart problems — although he sounded frailer than he used to — the one-time Wyoming representative, House minority whip, Defense secretary, and White House chief of staff praised his former colleagues and aides, especially Bush.

"I don't remember when I met President [George H.W.] Bush's eldest son, but I must a have made a half-decent impression," Cheney recalled. "When the time came and Gov. Bush needed a running mate and got the notion that I could find one, that search committee was a diligent little enterprise, and before long, we found our man."

"He's a man of great strength, and also great gentleness," Cheney said of Bush. "He also has integrity, a sense of humor, and an utter lack of pretense... I have been granted a few distinctions along the way in politics, and there's none I prize more than to have my name there in the story of those years besides the name of our president, George W. Bush."

Yet the Cheney bust, at least to many, didn't really resemble Cheney. The figure is not wearing his signature glasses, which he's rarely been seen without. And rather than sporting his trademark scowl, the bust is carved with a Bush-like half-smirk.

"If I didn't know who it was, I wouldn't have recognized it," joked Jim Nicholson, who served as Veterans Affairs secretary and RNC chairman under Bush. "Doesn't really look like him."