Festivus grievances

Rand Paul airs Festivus grievances

By Nick Gass

Rand Paul's annual airing of grievances Wednesday to mark the fictional holiday of Festivus took on the tone of the Republican presidential race.

In taking a shot at Senate colleague and presidential rival Marco Rubio, Paul referred to the Florida senator's missed votes while he has been on the campaign trail.

"to my absentee friend @marcorubio, I didn't put your $170k+ salary in my waste report today. But I could have #Festivus"

Paul began his "Seinfeld"-inspired airing by addressing Donald Trump's use of the term "schlonging" this week.

"Where to start but @realDonaldTrump. If u bring the Yiddish, know what it means. Guess that's more of a kvetch than a grievance #Festivus"

He also took a shot at Trump's line of ties:

"After the debates, @realDonaldTrump always trying to give us parting gifts of his made in China ties.  Weird.  #Festivus"

He threw some light shade on Texas Sen. Ted Cruz's country of birth (Canada):

"My friend @tedcruz has still not pledged to issue exec order declaring Canadian "bacon" is not real bacon.  Makes me suspicious.  #Festivus"

Carson drew little from Paul, he tweeted, simply because he could not hear the soft-spoken retired neurosurgeon during the debates:

"I have no grievances against my fellow doc @RealBenCarson because I have not heard a word he has said in any debate.  #Festivus"

Jeb Bush drew some flak for his debate idiosyncracies as well:

".@JebBush is always trying to change the debate rules to allow extra time for awkward pauses in answers. Not gonna happen. #Festivus"

Paul then went after New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie's justification of his lifelong Dallas Cowboys fandom:

"I think I speak for all in NJ when I say @GovChristie I don't care how much $ u spend at Met Life, Cowboys fans should stay out. #Festivus"

On the other side of the aisle, Paul referred to Sanders as "my comrade," alluding to the Vermont senator and presidential candidate who calls himself a democratic socialist:

"to my comrade @SenSanders: Unless you're Santa Claus, Socialism runs out of other people's money #Festivus"

And while he has not yet directly addressed Hillary Clinton or her bathroom break during last Saturday's debate, he did remark that Carly Fiorina, the only other woman running for president in either party, had no problem making it back to the stage on time after a commercial break:

".@CarlyFiorina has ZERO trouble making it back from commercial breaks @HillaryClinton. Just saying. #Festivus #waronwomensrooms"

"Be back soon to take on Washington, waste, and any other topic that deserves grievances! Air yours too! #Festivus" he encouraged his followers.