Razor-sharp

Colbert bests Trump

Facing off with the razor-sharp comedian, a subdued front-runner grins and bears it.

By Ben Schreckinger

Donald Trump was in no fighting mood on Tuesday night.

Rather than come out swinging, as he did at the outset of last week’s Republican debate, a subdued front-runner came out nodding in his “Late Show” interview with Stephen Colbert.

Rather than engage or try to turn the tables, Trump, whose default mode is offense, repeatedly agreed with the wisecracks lobbed by the razor-sharp comedian, who has a knack for skewering self-serious politicians.

“I want to thank you not only for being here but I want to thank you for running for president, because I’m not going to say this stuff writes itself, but you certainly do deliver it on time every day,” joked Colbert at the outset of the interview.

“I think so. I think so,” agreed Trump. “I work hard at it. I think so.”

Colbert then went on offense on the subject of money, one of Trump’s fortes.

“The Republican Party has been a big pusher of the idea that money is speech, and you’re a $10 billion mouth,” jabbed the host.

“That’s another way of looking at it,” Trump responded diplomatically.

“The other people out there want some of your money. Ted Cruz was on last night. He asked me to ask you if you’d give him a billion dollars,” said Colbert, referencing a Monday night interview with the Texas senator.

“Sounds good. Sounds good. He’s a good man, actually,” said Trump of his Republican rival, who has publicly aligned himself with the frontrunner even as most of the rest of the field has condemned him.

As Trump began talking about the national debt, Colbert interjected, “At a certain point, does it even matter how much we owe, because it’s like trillion, quadrillion what does it matter? Come and get us, we’ve got the armies, right? What are they going to do?

“Well you’re right. You’re right,” agreed Trump.

“What are the Chinese going to do?” Asked Colbert.

“You’re right,” said Trump.

When Trump argued that building a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border was feasible because the Chinese built a longer one “2,000 years ago," Colbert interjected, “Jesus helped build that.”

“You’re right. You’re right,” said Trump.

After an exchange in which Colbert attempted to role-play the scenario in which Trump gets Mexico to pay for the border wall, with the comedian assuming the part of Mexico’s president, he promised to lob out a “meatball” for Trump.

“Barack Obama: born in the United States. Go,” said Colbert, making a tossing motion.

Trump put up his hands and began to demur.

“It’s a meatball!” exclaimed Colbert incredulously.

“I know,” responded Trump, once a leading proponent of the discredited theory that Obama was not born in the United States, before explaining his policy of no longer discussing the president’s place of birth.

“That meatball is now being dragged down the steps of a subway by a rat,” said a disappointed Colbert.

“I know. I know. You’re right,” said Trump.

Even the musical act had more political charge: Later in the show, after Trump had left, musician Raury performed wearing a Mexico soccer jersey with the name “Trump” crossed out on the back and presented Colbert with a Mexico jersey with “Colbert” on the back.

But Trump regained his salesman-like swagger when reciting his talking points on immigration and border security, and came alive at a few points during the approximately 15-minute interview — especially when agreeing with jokes Colbert made at the expense of others.

Asking Trump whether he really wanted the job of president, Colbert warned him of Air Force One, “The smell of all those reporters who have been on there, you would have to have it fumigated,” prompting Trump to respond enthusiastically, “That is right. That is right,” drawing laughter and applause.

Reminding Trump that his next guest, Ernest Moniz, was integral to the Obama administration’s Iran nuclear deal, which the businessman often maligns, Colbert pulled out a copy of Trump’s book, “The Art of the Deal,” and asked him to inscribe it for the energy secretary.

When Colbert suggested, “Dear Ernie, better luck next time,” Trump exclaimed, “I was going to say the same thing!”

He decided to inscribe a more civil message, saying, “I want to be a nice person.”

Trump mostly aced a test in which he was asked to identify whether a list of outrageous quotes were made by him or Colbert’s character on his old Comedy Central show, the Colbert Report, and did not fall into the trap of accidently attributing a quote from serial killer Charles Manson to himself.

The late night host got perhaps the most genuine rise out of Trump when he told him, “For many years I played an over-the-top conservative character. Not as long as you did, but for many years.”

The mogul got a kick out of that.