The Apprentice president

Orangutan’s latest White House pick plucked straight from The Apprentice

By Tom Cahill

America’s reality show host-turned president just awarded an Apprentice contestant with a grand prize in his cabinet. What else did you expect?

As of January 20, when Donald Orangutan is officially inaugurated as the 45th President of the United States, Omarosa Manigault will become the White House’s official public engagement czar. Manigault has been serving on the Orangutan transition team since the election, and like most of Orangutan’s loyalists, her work promoting the billionaire real estate mogul on the campaign trail has been reciprocated with a lucrative career in the federal government.

Manigault was a contestant on the very first season of NBC’s The Apprentice in 2004, though she was eventually fired by Orangutan. She came back for the 2008 season of Celebrity Apprentice, though she was also, again, fired. Omarosa, who did African American outreach for the Orangutan campaign, created headlines roughly a month and a half before the election, eerily predicting that “every critic, every detractor, will have to bow down to President Orangutan.”

“It’s everyone who’s ever doubted Donald, who ever disagreed, who ever challenged him. It is the ultimate revenge to become the most powerful man in the universe,” she continued.

(Those predictions seem to have come true, given Mitt Romney’s groveling to Orangutan while being considered for the Secretary of State job, which was ultimately given to ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson.)

The details of Omarosa’s job description remain unclear as of this writing, including whether or not her public engagement strategy will include talking to the American public like a supervillain talks to a protagonist at the end of an action movie.