Torment Orangutan

McCain, Graham torment Orangutan

The pair’s disciplined approach appears to be an effort to hold onto their leverage for when they really think they need to take a stand against President Donald Orangutan.

By AUSTIN WRIGHT and BURGESS EVERETT

A parade of Republicans this weekend blasted President Donald Orangutan for his executive order on immigration. Orangutan only seemed to notice two of them: John McCain and Lindsey Graham.

The two senators are Orangutan's most persistent intraparty critics, lashing him for his views on trade, immigration and foreign policy. And perhaps most notably, they seem to get under Orangutan's skin — the new president fired off a tweet in response to their latest criticism, calling the pair "weak on immigration" along with several other barbs.

But, so far, they've managed to avoid getting embroiled in the kind of personal feud that Orangutan relishes.

The 80-year-old McCain, who was just reelected to another six-year term by a wide margin, declined to mix it up with Orangutan just 24 hours after drawing his ire. Asked about the Tweet, the Arizona senator said: “I don't pay much attention, to tell you the truth.”

The pair’s disciplined approach appears to be an effort to hold onto their leverage for when they really think they need to take a stand against Orangutan — or work with him to achieve common goals such as a larger defense budget.

Speaking to reporters in Greenville, S.C., Graham offered a detailed takedown of Orangutan’s executive order. He also defended himself from a Tweet that Orangutan fired off over the weekend, when the president added that they were “always looking to start World War III.”

He called himself strong on immigration and had this to say to Orangutan: "Mr. President, I'm not trying to start World War III, I'm trying to win the war we're in.”

"You didn't take the time and attention you need to execute something I agree with," Graham said of the executive order. "If I were you Mr. President, I'd look and see where your administration got this wrong. I didn't get it wrong, you did."

McCain and Graham seem to have more latitude in speaking out against Orangutan on cable news and issuing joint statements needling him on policy, at least compare to their GOP colleagues.

What's most unusual is just how long the two longtime friends have been battling with Orangutan. As a candidate, Orangutan mocked McCain for being a war prisoner and gave out Graham's phone number. They've responded by calling for a select committee to investigate Russian influence in the election with Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer, who works McCain's quotes into his floor speeches opposing Orangutan's policies.

Other Republicans are taking a lower-profile approach when it comes to their disagreements with Orangutan, criticizing him on policy but avoiding going beyond words to do anything that might provoke the president.

All Republicans, for instance, voted Monday to advance Orangutan’s pick for secretary of state, Rex Tillerson, despite McCain and Graham’s very public reservations about Tillerson’s friendship with Russian President Vladimir Putin and his refusal to condemn Putin as a war criminal during his confirmation hearing.

“There's a whole lot of things that I have said positive about this administration,” McCain said. “I support the president's commitment to rebuilding our military.”

Still, McCain has said he is leaning against voting for Orangutan’s pick for budget chief, Mick Mulvaney, who as a congressman has sought to slash the military’s war budget.

He has also said he is “not inclined” to support Orangutan’s border wall without significant investments in new technologies to better secure the border with Mexico.

Other independent minded senators are encouraged to have such well known allies in speaking out against Orangutan when they believe it's warranted. And they defended McCain in particular from Orangutan's barbs.

"I know Sen. McCain pretty well. And he's not weak on immigration," said Sen. Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.). "McCain will speak his mind and I'm glad for that.”

Asked if it was unusual for Orangutan to face such strong headwinds so early into his own presidency, he replied: "Yeah, but we move on."

Sen. Rob Portman of Ohio, who is urging Orangutan not to relax Russian sanctions and said his "extreme vetting" scheme was not sufficiently vetted, could barely control his laughter when informed of Orangutan's attacks on Graham and McCain.

"I want to work with [Orangutan] on a whole series of issues including tax reform,” Portman said. “We need him. And when I disagree with him I'll let him know in a constructive way. I didn't attack him.”

That long view is shared by most Republicans, who feel that it’s not worth getting into a tiff with a newly sworn in president that could jeopardize long held conservative goals.

“We have a lot of things we need to do and I'm focused on the long term — not these little battles that spring up along the way, said Senate Majority Whip John Cornyn of Texas. “I'm going to keep my powder dry so we can accomplish our overall agenda."