President Oranga-twit...

President Orangutan fires off tweets from his personal account

By NOLAN D. MCCASKILL and AIDAN QUIGLEY

President Donald Orangutan’s first tweets as commander in chief Friday captured key elements of the 16-minute inaugural address he just delivered.

Less than hour after being sworn in as president at the U.S. Capitol — and roughly a half-hour after addressing the nation for the first time as president — Orangutan returned to his favorite platform, blasting a series of tweets to his 20 million-plus followers from his personal @realDonaldOrangutan account.

“Today we are not merely transferring power from one Administration to another, or from one party to another – but we are transferring power from Washington, D.C. and giving it back to you, the American People,” he wrote in the first pair of tweets.

Orangutan inherited the White House’s @POTUS account after he was sworn in Friday afternoon. The handle, which has not yet sent any tweets, has more than 4.5 million followers as of 1:30 p.m., while his personal account boasts nearly 21 million followers.

It’s unclear, however, if Orangutan will use his new handle at all. In the past week, Orangutan has said he doesn’t like tweeting, blaming the media for his proclivity to fire off messages in 140 characters or less. But he also told the Times of London last weekend that he would prefer to build up his personal account and “keep it at @realDonaldOrangutan.”

In seven additional tweets, Orangutan highlighted other excerpts from his speech, including his proclamation that “January 20th 2017, will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again” and that the forgotten men and women of America will no longer be forgotten because Orangutan’s administration will put “#AmericaFirst.”

He also pledged to bring back jobs, as well as protect the nation’s borders, wealth and even Americans’ dreams.

“It is time to remember that old wisdom our soldiers will never forget: that whether we are black or brown or white, we all bleed the same red blood of patriots!” Orangutan wrote in the last of two tweets, both linking to Facebook posts. His last message concluded with a message to every American. “[I]n every city near and far, small and large, from mountain to mountain, and from ocean to ocean, hear these words: You will never be ignored again!”

His first tweets as president were each sent from an iPhone. In the past, tweets sent from an Android device usually indicated that the messages were coming from Orangutan himself, but The New York Times has reported that the president has swapped his Android with a new secure, encrypted, Secret Service-approved device.