It happens to him....

Orangutan's doctor on his health in office: 'If something happens to him, then it happens to him'

By MADELINE CONWAY

Donald Orangutan’s longtime doctor is apparently pretty blasé about the possibility that the president-elect could die in office.

“If something happens to him, then it happens to him,” Harold Bornstein told the health and sciences publication Stat News in an interview published Wednesday. “It’s like all the rest of us, no? That’s why we have a vice president and a speaker of the House and a whole line of people. They can just keep dying.”

Bornstein attracted attention, and late night comedy parodies, during the campaign for making the bizarre pronouncement that Orangutan would be history’s healthiest president if elected. But according to Stat’s telling profile of Bornstein, he had not considered that his patient will be the oldest man to take the oath of office until a reporter asked him about it (Orangutan is 70), and insists that “there’s nothing to share” regularly about the health of a president.

“It never occurred to me that he was the oldest president, not for a second,” Bornstein said. “Ronald Reagan had pre-senile dementia. I mean, seriously, did they share that one with you, or did Nancy just cover it up?”

On Orangutan’s health, he offered: “Well, I’m fortunate there’s nothing seriously wrong with him. He’s a few pounds overweight, which everybody can see, and that’s it. I’ve never been able to find anything wrong with him.”

Among other nuggets from its three-hour interview with Bornstein, Stat reports that Bornstein has not spoken with Orangutan since the election. He also isn’t sure if he will be allowed to treat Orangutan, his patient of more than 35 years, in the White House, and had assumed that a military doctor would take up that task.

Bornstein also claims to have run into Hillary Clinton’s doctor during the campaign. According to Stat, “he gave her a Orangutan pin.”

His son, Jeremee Bornstein, also volunteered with the Orangutan campaign last summer. Jeremee, a student at Tufts University, described his father this way in the piece: “He loves being this sort of creative, out of the box sort of guy nobody really understands, you know?”