THE THIRSTY GOES TO . . .

The 10 Thirstiest Members of Congress

The second-annual POLITICO Magazine awards to recognize the members of Congress who have worked the hardest — at getting attention.

By POLITICO MAGAZINE

After the inaugural Thirsty Awards last year, which recognized our most shamelessly media-seeking members of Congress, we wondered if we could reup the prizes for a second year. We were doubtful. Could there possibly be enough attention-hungry members to come up with a new list of the few, the proud, the thirsty?

Ladies and gentlemen, our lawmakers outdid themselves.

This is Washington, after all, and it’s Washington in the Donald Trump and social media age. Building seniority, developing relationships and forging cross-aisle consensus for incremental gains is out. None of that is going to get you a viral link or an invitation to appear on primetime cable television. Instead, begging for the public to pay attention to you, usually via provocation and performance, has become the coin of the realm in today’s Congress.

These members have learned that art, and they’ve excelled at it. Congratulations to the winners.

The ‘I’m Not Like Other Dems’ Award

AND THE THIRSTY GOES TO . . .

Illustration of Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (I-AZ)

SEN. KYRSTEN SINEMA (I-AZ)

Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (I-Ariz.), for tirelessly cultivating a reputation as the last, most essential, most fearlessly independent Democratic vote on legislation from the minimum wage to pandemic relief, ensuring that cameras and reporters would always be there to capture her waffling and her demands, before ultimately switching her party affiliation in 2022 to independent. With few ways left to continue signaling just how hard to get and independent her vote is, in 2023, she announced that she would not be seeking reelection in 2024 at all.

The ‘I Just Got Here and I’m Already Bored With the House’ Award

AND THE THIRSTY GOES TO . . .

Illustration of Rep. Jared Moskowitz (D-Fla.)

REP. JARED MOSKOWITZ (D-FLA.)

Rep. Jared Moskowitz (D-Fla.), for regularly feeding the viral video machine with clips of himself pantsing Republicans from his perch on the Oversight Committee, garnering social media clips from the left’s online “amen” corner, and for going above and beyond with props: namely a Vladimir Putin mask, which he recently donned while walking through the halls of Congress to get the point across about Republicans purportedly taking the Moscow line.

The ‘I’ve Been Here Over a Decade and Am Now Bored in the Senate’ Award

AND THE THIRSTY GOES TO . . .

Illustration of Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah

SEN. MIKE LEE (R-UTAH)

Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah), for, mostly, his performance as @BasedMikeLee on X, formerly Twitter (we’ll set aside the fact that a 52-year-old man somehow knows what “based” is). There can be little doubt it’s the senator and not his staff at the controls.

Through the activity of his X account, which he launched in 2022, one can watch the beginning of a new persona, a GOP senator who wants to remain a modern Republican and is therefore willing to accommodate and rationalize Trumpism — a marked departure from the constitution-thumping, strait-laced, Trump-skeptical Mormon that Lee was back in 2016. “I’d like some assurances that [Trump’s] going to be a vigorous defender for the U.S. Constitution,” he said that year. Now: “I’ll take the mean tweets,” Based Mike wrote in January as he revealed his Trump endorsement, borrowing the oft-cited MAGA line reducing Trump’s aberrant conduct to just a few overheated tweets (never mind the insurrection-stirring and near-triple-digit felony charges).

Overall, though, the non-stop, round-the-clock tweets allude to something else: Lee is emblematic of the Gen X Senate conservatives who’ve been living in Trump’s shadow for nearly a decade now and have made their peace with it — but are pretty bored waiting for their once and future nominee and their long-serving Senate leader to finally get off the stage.

The Gone But Not Forgotten Award

AND THE THIRSTY GOES TO . . .

Illustration of Former Rep. George Santos (RI-N.Y.)

FORMER REP. GEORGE SANTOS (I-N.Y.)

Former Rep. George Santos (I-N.Y.), for, even in the congressional afterlife, still using his former member privileges to show up on the House floor for the State of the Union, float new runs for Congress, drop his party affiliation and chase six figures, reportedly, in Cameo dollars — all while continuing to bait his fans and haters on X, weighing in on the Starbucks Stanley cup and asking his followers about everything from Shakira’s comments about Barbie to whether he should start an OnlyFans.

Shame, exile and 23 criminal counts are no match for Santos’ thirst. It’s some story. And, if convicted, he’ll actually have some true tales to tell the fellas in the yard.

The Excellence in Trolling Award

AND THE THIRSTY GOES TO . . .

Illustration of Sen. John Fetterman (D-Pa.)

SEN. JOHN FETTERMAN (D-PA.)

Sen. John Fetterman (D-Pa.), for trollishly doubling down on his support of Israel in the face of criticism from the left: First by waving the Israeli flag at pro-Palestinian protesters who were getting arrested as he left his Senate office building and then by waving a larger Israeli flag on the roof of his Pennsylvania home when protesters showed up there. These clips, of course, went viral and were particularly popular on the right, where there were unusual sensations of strange new respect for the freshman Democrat. He’s also on this list because of his sustained campaign against his colleague, the allegedly very corrupt Bob Menendez (D-N.J.): “dibs on your parking space,” Fetterman wrote last month in a quote-tweet above Menendez’s announcement he would not seek renomination as a Democrat this year. The tweet got 24,000 likes, which is no small thing — if a sitting senator wants to be recognized for the strength of his troll game.

The Lifetime Achievement Award

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Illustration of Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas)

REP. SHEILA JACKSON LEE (D-TEXAS)

Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas), for her career-long record of always hogging the aisle seat at the State of the Union to shake the hand of the president — a refreshingly old-school way of getting media coverage, given the social-media antics of many on this list. When asked about it, she has said it’s helpful for securing support for the causes that are important to her, and not just about getting good photos. We’re doubtful. But she also won the award this year for losing the mayoral election in Houston and then, days later, filing to run for the House once again. That aisle seat isn’t going to fill itself.

The ‘Anything to Distract From My Own Scandal’ Award

AND THE THIRSTY GOES TO . . .

Illustration of Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.)

REP. MATT GAETZ (R-FLA.)

Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.), for making himself the central star of the biggest Congress story of 2023, the ouster of former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy, by pulling 21 Republicans away from supporting him, and, throughout it all, turning the spotlight back on himself to raise $1.8 million for his campaign. We’re not even sure Gaetz will object to the Thirsty recognition because, as he’s written himself, even negative attention is better than none. “Better to be a spectacle than to end up having never said anything worth cancelling because nobody was listening in the first place,” he wrote in his memoir, Firebrand.

If it weren’t for the McCarthy story, Gaetz might have had to deal with being a different kind of spectacle. McCarthy has charged that Gaetz led the effort to oust him because McCarthy refused to halt an ethics investigation into allegations that Gaetz paid for sex with an underage girl. (Gaetz has denied the allegations.)

The Insatiable Memer Award

AND THE THIRSTY GOES TO . . .

Illustration of Rep. Mike Collins (R-Ga.)

REP. MIKE COLLINS (R-GA.)

Rep. Mike Collins (R-Ga.), for bravely and unflaggingly posting through it when Congress was thrown into chaos by its three-week search for a new speaker. He deftly repurposed the most popular memes of the moment into shareable, ouster-related content for all of us — and then eagerly embraced his new role in the media, telling the Hill that he “even got comments from a person in the airport about his memes.”

The Most Likely to Trumpet His Own Thirsty Award

AND THE THIRSTY GOES TO . . .

Illustration of Rep. Robert Garcia (D-Calif.)

REP. ROBERT GARCIA (D-CALIF.)

Rep. Robert Garcia (D-Calif.), for making clear he was eager to be a liberal counterweight to his soon-to-be MAGA colleagues before he was even elected in 2022 and for delivering on that vow with thirstastic relish. No Democrat trolled Santos harder and longer, with Garcia wielding an expulsion measure, giving impassioned speeches and press conferences about the necessity of holding him accountable and appearing in interviews on CNN, MSNBC and local FOX affiliates to criticize him and call for his removal (and discuss his tweets on the issue). And he’s damn proud of it. In fact, we’re pretty confident he’ll personally tweet out this Thirsty.

Doubtful? The man loves coverage and knows how to get it. Just check out his “exclusive” interview with People, his appearance at Comic-Con where he’s now what the Hollywood Reporter called a “minor celebrity” or the time when the self-described “Bravo gay” recited a speech from the “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” during a House Oversight Committee hearing.

The People’s Choice Award

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Illustration of Rep. Nancy Mace (R-S.C.)

REP. NANCY MACE (R-S.C.)

Rep. Nancy Mace (R-S.C.), who bafflingly donned a scarlet “A” over her white shirt the day she voted to oust former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy, in a confused homage to Nathaniel Hawthorne’s novel about a woman ostracized for adultery; who used her remarks at a prayer breakfast to tell the faithful she was nearly late because her (soon to be dumped) fiancé wanted some morning loving; who routinely suggests she’s undecided on any number of bills, thus guaranteeing maximal attention and television invitations.

But the biggest reason she is on this list is because last year, in a gross oversight, we didn’t include her — and we heard about it from many, many people. We regret her absence from the inaugural Thirsties and correct it here with the first-ever People’s Choice Award for the Thirstiest Member of Congress.