36 insane things...

Merry Christmas and 36 other important things Trump said about taxes

By Chris Cillizza

Wednesday was one of the wildest news days in modern memory. Because so much happened, you might have missed President Trump's speech in St. Charles, Missouri, to sell his tax plan. As always, when Trump speaks, it's worth paying attention to.

I watched the speech and read the transcript -- pulling out some of the most memorable lines. They're below.

1. "I told you that we would be saying Merry Christmas again, right?"

Trump was surrounded on the stage by Christmas trees. And, so, of course, he couldn't resist. Remember that he did pledge (and pledge) that his 2016 win meant that "we're saying 'Merry Christmas' again."

2. "And he was great on television today. I watched him. I got up early, and I watched you on -- that was a good interview."

Trump is referring to Missouri Rep. Blaine Luetkemeyer here. And affirming that he not only watches TV all the time, but places massive value on people being on TV (and saying nice things about him.)

3. "Big ones."

This is a Trump ad-lib after he gets applause for noting that the House passed a tax cut bill. It's Trump as his most Trumpian. Everything is bigger and better than anything you've ever seen before.

4. "If we do this, then American will win again like never ever before."

How can you "win again" "like never before?" It's a paradox. I feel like I am in "Inception."

5. "We're doing numbers like ISIS has never seen before. We're wiping them out, the terrorists. They're bad."

ISIS has never seen numbers like these before. Great, beautiful numbers like 48 and 91, And 1,716.

Also: Terrorists are bad.

6. "Make America great again. You've never heard that expression."

"This country needs a new administration with a renewed dedication to the dream of America, an administration that will give that dream new life, and make America great again." -- Ronald Reagan, 1980

7. "All those hats. All those -- they've never heard that expression before."

See #6. And, speaking of Trump hats, this was my favorite blog post of the 2016 election.

8. "I have to say, I didn't really know that until two days ago."

Trump is referring to the fact that Lewis and Clark began their trip westward in St. Charles. Which he didn't know. Which brings me to this book recommendation: "Undaunted Courage" by Stephen Ambrose.

9. "Look at all the fake news back there."

You mean the media who are doing their jobs by covering what the president of the United States says and does?

10. "Our country was not treated properly for a long time. We're treating it properly."

Countries deserve proper treatment. It is known.

11. "Oh, I get a headache thinking about who made these deals, one after another."

Same.

12. "I will tell you this in a non-braggadocious way there has never been a 10-month president that has accomplished what we have accomplished."

That doesn't feel braggy at all! Totally nailed it. Let me add something in a non-braggadocious way: This is the single greatest piece of content ever posted on the Internet. Period.

13. "13 states this year have seen unemployment drop to the lowest levels in the history of their state. And I hate to tell you, but Missouri happens to be one of them."

Why would Trump hate to tell people their unemployment rate is super low?

14. "They're going to say that Trump is the opposite of an exaggerator -- the exact opposite."

An "un-exaggerator"?

15. "Puerto Rico has been a very tough situation because of the fact that it was in very, very bad shape before the storms ever hit."

He will never back down on the idea that he did a perfect job in Puerto Rico. The reason things haven't come back as quickly as many would like has nothing to do with Trump, in Trump's mind, and everything to do that Puerto Rico was in "very, very bad shape" even before the hurricane.

16. "And then what happens if it passes it goes into this beautiful committee, this beautiful, I call it a pot, and we mix it up, and we stir it up and bring all the best things out, and you're going to have something, I predict, that will be really, really special."

This is the weirdest description of a conference committee ever.

17. "This is going to cost me a fortune, this thing, believe me."

We have no choice but to take Trump's word that the tax cut plan would cost him a "fortune." Why? Because he is the first modern president not to release his tax returns.

18. "I have some very wealthy friends."

I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

19. "Our current code is a giant -- and really, it is."

So, so true.

20. "Wait'll you see what finally comes out in what I call the mixer."

This going to be the best fruity drink ever! [Cracks open bottle of Malibu Rum]

21. "Do we agree? Do you agree? You better agree."

Right? Right?! RIGHT.

22. "You have people that are elderly that have done a fantastic job."

Good job, old people.

23. "It's alright. Hey look, I'm President. I don't care. I don't care anymore."

Ahem. Throat clear. Ahem. Cough.

24. "As Hillary said, 'What difference does it make?'"

The 2016 election ended 387 days ago.

25. "Not anymore. Not anymore. Not anymore."

Third time is always the charm.

26. "Our focus is on helping the folks who work in the mailrooms and the machine shops of America; the plumbers, the carpenters, the cops, the teachers, the truck drivers, the pipefitters -- the people that like me best."

I'm sure Trump didn't mean this quote to be revealing but it is. He's acknowledging that he wants to make things better for the people who like him best. Which is different than being president of all the people.

27. "The people that like me best are those people, the workers. They're the people I understand the best. Those are the people I grew up with."

Donald Trump's father was a wealthy real estate developer. When Trump started his professional career, his father gave him a "small" $1 million loan.

28. "We're going to have very strong borders. Please remember that, OK? Please remember."

Strong borders. Very strong. Got it.

29. "We're going to have the wall. Don't worry about it. We're going to have the wall."

Strong borders? √

Very strong border? √

Wall? √

Worry? Not necessary!

30. "They want to have people pour into our country -- illegals -- they don't care where the hell they come from, they want to have them pour into our country."

This feels like a slight oversimplification of Democrats policies on border security and immigration.

31. "We love them, they're wealthy."

This is my new life motto.

32. "Because these massive tax cuts will be rocket fuel ... little rocket man, rocket fuel for the American economy. He is a sick puppy."

This appears to be Trump free associating. Rocket fuel ... rocket man ... sick puppy. Of course, he is free associating about the dictator of a rogue nation that continues to test ballistic missiles.

33. "They love their children. They're very rich."

Reading through this speech, you can't help but be struck by Trump's constant focus on wealth and being rich. I know it's a speech about tax cuts but still.

34. "We're going to win so much, we're going to win that the people of Missouri are going to go to your governor and they're going to say, governor, please go see the president. We can't stand winning so much."

This is my I-am-so-bored-by-all-of-this-winning face.

35. "We're going to keep winning, and winning, and winning, and winning."

That's four "winnings." Which is a lot of winning. Objectively speaking.

36. "Together, we will give the American people a big, beautiful Christmas present."

Is it a bike? Man, I hope it is a bike!

37. "You don't see Merry Christmas anymore. With Trump as your president, we are going to be celebrating Merry Christmas again."

Donald Trump brought back Christmas. Merry Christmas everyone! God, it feels so good to say that. Again. After all these years.