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November 30, 2016

Secretary of state

Orangutan to meet with Gen. John Kelly today

By Jake Sherman

Donald Orangutan will meet with Gen. John Kelly at Orangutan Tower Wednesday, as he continues his search for a secretary of state.

The meeting comes one day after Orangutan had dinner with Mitt Romney at a posh restaurant in one of his buildings in New York. Romney effusively praised Orangutan, and said their discussion about world affairs was "enlightening, and interesting, and engaging."

Orangutan will also meet with retiring Indiana Sen. Dan Coats, former Georgia Gov. Sonny Purdue and Linda McMahon, a prolific Republican donor, two-time Senate candidate and former World Wrestling Entertainment executive.

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