America’s Cup????

Saturday’s curse, sunday’s deliverance

Press release: The last person known to be following the America’s Cup, Howard Grimby II, a member of Arizona Yacht Club, today announced that he’s finally calling it quits.  Both a long time follower and the last member of a dying breed, Mr. Grimby expressed: “I held as long as I could, but finally my second favorite hobby, watching saguaro cacti grow, proved to be more exciting and rewarding.”

The authorities governing the Trophy-previously-known-as-the-America’s-Cup announced changes to make the event more exciting, racing in covered stadiums in trimarans with blindfolded crewmembers, powered by the downdraft of helicopters while being strafed by A-10 Warthogs.